Angry Orchard Crisp Apple Cider Review

The Orchard Disapproves of Your Lifestyle.

I AM SO EXCITED TO BE TRYING THIS RIGHT NOW, YOU GUYS. Strictly speaking, Angry Orchard isn’t available for sale in the province yet [Update: as of the fall of 2014, Angry Orchard is available in Alberta. Yay!] So, I kind of feel special drinking this. That being said, it should be available for mass purchase/consumption within the next few months or so.

To the stats!

The Taste: Sweet. Not cloying. Not thick or syrupy (I know those aren’t descriptors of taste. Shut up.) It’s more like there’s a hint of apples than, like, a tonne of apple flavour. It’s kind of like S’bow… but unlike S’bow, it’s sweet. There isn’t much tartness/sourness to it, yet it’s crisp enough to balance out the sweet.


  • 5% ABV
  • 355 mL
  • Calories: 221

The Mouthfeel: Nicely carbonated. Not aggressive. Not flat. It’s almost like the delightful little microbubbles you get from some sparkling wines and champagne. Neeeeaaat.

The Schnoz: I am getting… very little in this regard. It’s weird. Certainly not much apple. There’s a hint of a smell, but I can’t place it. Will have to try more and get back to you (jeez, the things I do for you.)

The Colour: a little more golden than S’bow. It looks good, though. Not thick and syrupy like other ciders. It’s clear and golden and lovely looking. LOVELY, DAMMIT.

The Packaging: Appealing. Not so cutesy as others, but the colour-scheme and illustration are still … well they’re kinda cute. The image has a traditional illustration from an old children’s book sort of vibe; at once reassuring and fun. I appreciate that they spent the extra money to get the bottle-neck label (which really ties the whole bottle together!) and had the main label die-cut. NOICE.

The Final Verdict: Delicious. Very fresh.  It might be thismuch too sweet to drink a lot of. Then again, that might be the very reason that you’d drink a lot of them. I love it right now, but I think I’ll honestly have to try it again in the summer, when it’s hot and I’m miserable, to see if it’s still “fresh” and crisp enough for hot-weather imbibation.

Rating: 9 Arbitrary Units.

Have you tried it? What’d you think? Let me know in the comments below.

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